This Is How I Disappear
by meepsie
Summary: A story based on one of Catherine MacPhail's books but i can't remember which one. Its about a run away and her highs and her lows. This story does contain some sex related things and minor swearing. Hope you like it and don't forget to rate it. ENJOY!


This Is How I Disappear

**Devoted to Catherine MacPhail**

**And My Chemical Romance**

**Lady Of Sorrows**

**Another sear of blinding pain grips my stomach. I wheeze in pain and try to double up but Anne's cronies hold me up tight. After many more agonising punches to the stomach they eventually leave me alone. I hold my belly tight. I scrunch myself up into a ball on the hard concrete ground. Breathing deeply and spitting out blood from when the dreaded Anne punched my face. I gradually regain my breath and stand; wincing with pain as I do.**

**I am used to these beatings now. It began in year 7 when I accidentally hit her when I was walking past her. She started shouting at me and I said sorry but she carried on. She said horrible things about my mum, which of course I did not stand for. So I said mean things about hers and walked off. That day right after school they came up to me and beat me up. I told mum and she told the school but they never did anything but put her and her gang on a warning. It carried on but the school did not do anything. It started stressing mum out so I learnt how to hide it. She thought it stopped but it had not. I have just begun the first term of year nine now.**

**I remember that I am supposed to be meeting my friends in the park now. So I hobble to the toilets and cover the scratches and markings on my face with make-up. It does not work. I try to forget about it.**

**When I arrive at the park I find it is nearly empty except for a couple of dog-walkers and of course my friends. They are sat on the monkey bars just chatting like usual. I hobble over to them solemnly. They look up.**

"**Ahh, here's our Lady of sorrows. What happened this time?" Frankie asks. Frankie Bryar is my friend. She comes from year 10. She is very friendly, to everyone not just to me. Extremely funny too, which is another reason why everyone gets along with her so much. She is also very out-going which means she stands up for me. She is just an amazing person.**

**Frankie is wearing a black t-shirt with a purple printed skull on it. She has her favourite belt holding her plain jeans up. Her dark brown hair is sitting under a black woolly hat. She is also wearing her purple scarf to match her top. Frankie is actually quite small but no one ever uses that against her.**

"**What do you think?" I say simply.**

"**They beat you up? Silly question! Of course they beat you up. Are you alright?" says Alice. I nod my yes. Alice Cooper, my second best friend. She is a right chatterbox, does not understand when to carry on talking and when to stop. This makes her a really fun person to be around. She is in the same year as me. We first met in year 8 in our first English lesson. She was so kind to me that I took a liking to her instantly. Soon we were best friends; we share everything, good or bad.**

**Alice has her brunette bob under a stylish light blue beret, which matches her ice blue eyes. She is wearing a blue shirt with ¾ length arms and despite the cold bitterness of October she is wearing a short blue and purple/lilac skirt with white leggings. Typical of Alice to be fashionable no matter what time of year it is! Alice is around about the same size as me, maybe a bit taller.**

**I sit on the monkey bars too and we chat until Alice looks at her watch and says that she has to get home. Frankie follows soon afterwards. I have no choice but to go home. I do not want to but I know I have to. **

**I love my mum, I love my little sister, I do not love Gary. He is the reason I do not want to go home. Gary is mum's new boyfriend, she thinks he is funny and she is always happy when he is around but I know the truth. He always gives me looks, looks that are not right. I know what is going through his head when he stares at my legs longingly. I can see the yearning in his eyes. It makes me feel sick, physically sick. I want to tell mum but I do not actually have any proof yet. He has not said anything; it is just the looks he gives me.**

**I unwillingly trudge in the damp dark air back to my home. When I arrive I see his car outside. Like I thought, he is here. I mope over to the door and enter solemnly. Mum walks into the hallway at the sound of my arrival. She looks at me in a confused manner.**

"**You're late. Hunny, what on earth happened to your face?" She holds my cheek gently.**

"**I stumbled in the playground today and bashed my face on a stone." I make up quickly.**

"**Surely the school should have called me!"**

"**It was only a small stone, don't worry" I hang my coat over the banister and shuffle into the living room where Gary is playing Hungry Hippo's with Rosie. Rosie is giggling manically as Gary's hippo chomps at nothing. He looks up as mum sits back down next to her hippo and starts to eat the balls up. He asks if I want to join, in that gross voice of his but I shake my head and say.**

"**No thanks, I just want to go to my room and sleep"**

**Mum stops playing and says, "Me and Rosie were going to see a film remember, you said you'd come!"**

"**Can I give it a miss? I'm not up to watching a film tonight" Mum shrugs her shoulders. I turn from the living room and slump up the stairs. I collapse on my bed in exhaustion and drift off into a peaceful sleep.**

**When I wake it is 8:30 and I am really hungry. I sit up and become aware of something moving to the left of me. I scream, as I am shocked to see Gary sat next to my bed with a look of delight on his creepy face.**

"**Wow! I'm not that scary am I?" he asks. **_**You'd be surprised**_**, I think to myself. "I thought you might be hungry so I brought the left-over's from tea for you. You weren't awake but you looked like you were stirring so I sat here. Are you okay?" I grumble my yeah. I gratefully take the tray of food from him, shoving it in my mouth. He watches me eating. I find it really annoying but he does not go away. When I finish he takes the tray of empty plates from me and puts it on the table nearest my television. He comes back and sits beside me, I shuffle away nervously. He notices and smiles kindly.**

"**You know, you're a very pretty young woman" he comes out with it like it is an everyday, usual sort of thing to say! He pushes my fringe away from my face and strokes my hair. I pull away. He smiles again but this time it is not kind, it is greasy instead. He leans forward towards me, I know he is going to kiss me but I cannot seem to move, I am paralysed and terrified! His hand touches my leg and moves up my thigh towards my hips. He leans in closer and I feel his cold damp lips touch mine. I yank my head back finally free from my daze. I kick his hands away from me and run out the room, I can hear him running after me. My mind is racing, I scream out for mum. He catches up with me and trips me up, I stumble just before I get to the stairs and fall flat on my face. In a moment of silence my brain and body go numb. However he then twists me around and viciously kisses my neck as I struggle from beneath him. I feel him stop and rise off me for two or three seconds but that is all I need. I kick him in the stomach and as he doubles over to catch his breath I scramble to the door and unlock it. I am out the door and down the road before he can even get up.**

**I do not stop until I know he is not following me. What just happened replays in my mind like a television programme. I scream in hatred! But the thing is; now I have proof. **_**He has done that to me! I know he has, the slimy git.**_** I think.**_** Now all I have to do is convince mum, but I don't want to go back to the house, he's there. Probably waiting for me. **_**I decide to wait behind the trees of the houses opposite our house – for mum.**

**It is a while before she comes back with Rosie. I leap out from behind the trees and run across the road yelling for her. She looks up and I can see she is extremely confused.**

"**Katie? What on earth are you doing outside so late?"**

"**Mum! Mum! We have to leave, now!" I bellow.**

"**Why? Katie? What's wrong?" I can hear the stress in her voice.**

"**It's Gary!" is all I can say.**

"**What!? What's happened to Gaz?" she asks concerned. That disgusts me.**

"**Nothing's happened to him, it's what he did to me that I'm shouting about." I scream at her, I cannot seem to control my rage.**

"**What?" she is taken aback by this. We are silent until the door opens and Gary stands there in the doorway. We both stare at him. Mum looks confused and worried, I am staring coldly right at him. The rage is building up inside of me until I just explode. I run at him screaming swearwords until my throat becomes sore. I punch his stomach and kick him. I feel my mother's arms envelope me. I scream and scream; I am being dragged away from him. I am swearing and thrashing, Mum's shouting, Gary's moaning, and Rosie's wailing in the car. Suddenly I cannot see anything, just darkness.**

**Ghost's In The Snow**

**The next thing I know, I am sat in my bed, and it is 11:30. I sit up abruptly. Mum does not believe me; she was too worried about precious little "Gaz" to worry about me. She does not care that he molested me. I wonder what to do now, I could call Child line but I may be taken away from mum then, and Rosie! I know one thing for sure though, I cannot stay here! **_**I'll run away, it's the only choice.**_** I argue in my head for a while. Eventually I ask myself "where?" aloud. My head answers "**_**London, every runaway runs to London! Plus it's far enough away from Cheshire!"**_** So that is it. I am out of bed collecting my stuff, my clothes, my money and some food.**

**Just before I leave I think about writing a goodbye note but I decide not to. I think of Rosie, I cannot leave little Rosie to fend for herself without at least saying goodbye.**

**I quietly go to her room. When I am inside I creep over to her bed and give her a little nudge. She stirs and whimpers. I make soothing noises and stroke her hair to calm her. She looks up at me.**

"**Rosie? Katie has to go away for a while." I hold back tears.**

"**Away? Where?" she asks**

"**I can't tell you that, but I want you to know that I will be back, it's nothing to do with you, and I love you with all my heart" I whisper.**

"**Can I come too?" I laugh at her innocence.**

"**No darling, I'm sorry. But I want you to promise that you won't say a word to mummy about just now. Do you promise?"**

"…**okay" she looks really upset. Her face is killing me inside.**

"**Thank you. Now behave yourself and be a good girl for mummy. I'll see you soon." I kiss her gently on the forehead "go back to sleep now" waving my goodbye I exit her room. I go back downstairs and leave the house.**

**Tears stream down my cheeks as I walk away from the only home I have ever known. The road is empty. The air is silent. I feel so alone.**

**I have planned what I am going to do. First I will go to the train station and find the best route to London, directly or not. Then I will wait till my train arrives, I will then get on my train and when I arrive, I will find the cheapest hotel I can find and stay there. After that I have not a clue what to do! Get a job? No I am too young.**

**I arrive at the train station around midnight. Looking at the board I see no current trains so I go to one of the platform people. He sees me and smiles.**

"**Hello there! May I help you?" he enquires politely.**

"**Umm yeah…could you please tell me if there's any trains going to London tonight?" when he hears this he looks at his watch and raises his eyebrows as if to say, 'it's midnight, why'd you want to go to London at this time of night?' I can tell he thinks I am going to run away. I smile at him and quickly make up that I am going to my Aunties. I know it is not a convincing story but thankfully he does not ask any questions. He says there is a train in about 1 hour that goes to kings cross. I thank him and go to get my ticket.**

**The ticket Lady gives me the same look of disgust. Again I use my Aunty explanation, she raises her eyebrows and shakes her head. She gives me a ticket. I say thank you but she just tuts and turns away.**

"**There's no need to be rude!" I exclaim stomping away from the ticket box.**

**When I get to the right platform it is virtually empty. No trains, no people, nothing. I sit myself down on a bench and lean against the wall. I close my tired eyes. The next thing I know, the rumble of a train wakes me. I look at my watch curiously its 5 past 1 in the morning. I look up as a grey steel train comes thundering into the station. I stand. The doors open like welcoming arms. I stride over to an empty carriage and sit in the seat of the darkest corner.**

**As I make my way over to Kings Cross station 5 more people (6 including the baby) get on the train. A businessman of about 40, a teenage couple, an old man and a woman of about 26-27 with a crying baby! The teenagers get off before we are even halfway and the women with the wailing baby get of 3 stations before Kings Cross. **

**When I arrive it is 4:35 in the morning. My eyes are aching and I just want to slump down in a corner and fall into a deep sleep. However I know I cannot do that, I have to find somewhere to stay, somewhere cheap. So I start to stroll around the city of London, very unsuccessfully. Within a few minutes I give up and sit down in a doorway of a shop. I realise that this is the place I will probably spend the rest of my life in, the doorway of a shop. For the first time since Christmas two years ago, I cry.**

**2 months 1 week later**

**Christmas is coming up. Though unlike many children of my age, I will not be enjoying presents or even the warmth of the fire in the front room. I will not even have a nice Christmas lunch like everyone else. Because I am stuck on the streets in the middle of winter. I am one of them. A ghost in the snow, like all the other ghosts. That is what I have chosen to call homeless people, because everyone ignores them as if they do not exist or as if they are just ghosts, ghost that you can see right through.**

**I know that I have got use to living on the streets. I use my hoodie as a pillow most nights and I wake half frozen. My hair is so greasy that it actually sticks to things and underneath my fingernails are black. Yet these things that would have been unbearable 2 months ago, I do not seem to notice anymore. That is how I know. And I know that tonight is just another night on the streets.**

**The hours pass slowly as they always do. I sleep for about an hour and a half but I am woken by a tingling sensation in my bladder. I need to pee. I feel dreadful and I cannot be bothered lugging my bag over to the other side of the road but I do not want to leave it here either. I decide to leave it, I mean how long is it going to take to pee and come back? So I put my hoodie on and take out my mobile, remaining money and some chocolate bars just in case. I zip the bag back up and stuff it down into a tight corner in the darkness. I stand up and brush myself down.**

**Crossing the road is no problem; it is too late for traffic. I keep my face hidden and my hands in my pockets. When I get to the pub, I enter expecting loud drunken men wobbling around the bar…but it is virtually empty. I slink unnoticed to the bathroom. It is not nice in here, it reminds me so much of home!**

**I remember home; the warm fire, all of us sat on the sofa reading a story to Rosie, however my lovely fantasy is destroyed by the shadowy figure lurking in the darkness. It is Gary!**

**My eyes snap open. I shake the thought of it out of my mind. It is too hard, too painful to think of home. I splash cold water across my face.**

**Refreshed I unwillingly leave the warm cosiness of the local pub and re-enter the cold bitter world of the broken, beaten and the damned. The chilly wind outside is nearly unbearable. I once again ask myself why I left. Too many times I have asked that question, my mind always answers with the dreadful dirty sleazy Gary.**

**I cross the road with no problem again except from when I try to sit in my doorway. A large warm bundle is in my place. It grunts. I scream. It moves. I realise it is another ghost, like me. He looks at me with…hatred? Fear? Annoyance? I don't know.**

"**What you want?" he exclaims. He has got to be only about 16-17.**

"**You're in my place," I say simply but not boldly.**

"**No! I'm not, you're the one that left it!"**

"**What?" I say a little more boldly.**

"**Finders keepers! You leavin' it 'ere means it was up fo' grabs! I got it!" he explains impatiently.**

"**Well can I at least have my stuff?" this is the boldest thing I say.**

"**No, that was 'ere too!" he smirks at me.**

"**That's not fair!" I yell furiously**

"**Life's not fair hunny!" he turns away from me. I am so annoyed by this rude obnoxious man, I take a breath to say something else but he twists around viciously with a small glinting object in his hands. A knife! I back away slowly and run around the corner.**

**I cannot believe that man. He must have been watching me all night, ready to pounce whenever I moved! I am distraught! I have lost all my stuff, all my clothes, and most of my food! Not my money or my phone though! I was clever enough to think of that!**

**I wonder the street mindlessly until dawn. I take on begging on Givers Grove. I have tried begging before. It is not nice. Instead of just being ignored, you are given evil looks. No one gives you any money. You see the true colours of people who hide behind fake masks.**

**Lunchtime soon approaches. I wonder onto the steps of a courthouse. Others are sat on the steps along with me. However they are not like me, they wear black suits and carry leather briefcases. I feel so out of place, so alone, so lost.**

**I look over to my right. Someone has left half a sandwich and a drink of coke. I know it is not right to take something of someone else's…but if they have left it. It is rightfully anyone's, right? I am staring at it, yearning for it. Without a care for anyone else I scramble over to it and shove it in my mouth. I do not know how long it has been sitting there and frankly, I do not care. I am thankful, it is the best meal I have had all week.**

**I finish it feeling the best I have felt for a long time. I lye back staring into the grey clod of the sky. I close my eyes and dream for the first time in 2 weeks.**

_**I am walking down a deserted road. A cool breeze is blowing the litter my way. One child is stood with a dark shadowy figure. I can tell he is a man. They look at each other. The little girl has light brown curly hair, she must only be 9; she is smiling at the man. He is holding her hand. They start the walk my way. I feel the love that is binding them. They walk right past me. Ignoring me completely. Then they stop. A blinding light brightens in front of them. I turn away to shield my eyes. When I turn back, I see the man gently push the little girl into the light. She evaporates. I am confused. He turns around, so do I. I see a womanly figure. She steps out of the shadows. I do not see her face.**_

**House Of Wolves**

**Someone is shaking me. It is a girl of about my age. She has long straight blonde hair. Her face is small and sweet, and her eyes are an amazing electric blue! I sit up and push her off. She is smaller then me. She is a ghost. I can tell because her hair is rather scruffy, like mine. Her nails are black, like mine. And her clothes are dirty, like mine.**

"**You're homeless aren't you?" She says apprehensively. She can obviously tell that I am. I nod slowly. "Good, I thought you were." She sits down next to me, sticking out her hand; she says, "I'm Barbie, it's not my real name, just a nick-name. What's yours?" **

"**Katie" I say simply. We shake hands.**

"**Hey you just gonna be sleepin' rough tonight?" I nod, "well I know a place where you can crash. It's not perfect but we call it home. Wanna see?" I smile and nod again, like I am going to miss an opportunity like this.**

**She leads me though dark ally's, down busy streets and through abandoned derelict houses. I don't know where we are. I have never been in this part of London before; I have always stayed in Central London. I am starting to get nervous. I am letting a girl who I do not know lead me somewhere I have never heard of in a place I have never been before. What am I doing? Yet I do not stop, I let her carry on. She turns so I turn as well. She opens a gate. We are walking down a broken stone path. An over-grown forest of bushes and brambles grow alongside the path. I trip up on one of the brambles that has strayed from the rest. Barbie catches me.**

"**Watch it there," she says.**

"**Quick reflexes," I answer back. We smile at each other.**

**She turns around. I look up. There stands a tall Victorian house. It would have been beautiful back in the Victorian age. Now…now it just looks old and pathetic. Half of the roof is missing, the wooden frames have massive holes in them and all the windows have been bricked up. I look at Barbie.**

"**its better inside," she smiles, "don't look so worried!"**

**We enter. It is not nicer inside. There are big cracks in the walls, half the wooden skirting-boards are missing and the room has nothing in it except a couple of pieces of broken wood, some tins, a pan and 5 cotton sheets. She smiles at me weakly.**

"**Okay…maybe I said a teensy-weensy lie"**

"**Barbie?" A strange voice comes from another room. "That you?" A medium sized girl wonders in. She has long brown hair with fading green streaks. Her face is pixie-like. She is wearing a very scruffy purple tunic and long black trousers. She has some striking pink and white trainers. Over the top of that is a long brown trench coat. It does not go with the purple but it totally suits her eyes; which are the same dazzling brown. She looks friendly from her appearance but her eyes say the total opposite.**

**I smile and give a weak wave. She raises her eyebrows and looks at Barbie. Barbie walks over to the girl and stands beside her. She introduces us to each other and explains to Piper (as I now know her) what happened to me. Piper is much friendlier now that she knows I am not a danger to her. She even smiles at me.**

"**Where are the others?" Barbie asks.**

"**Out running, you know," she replies, I am just stood in the corner of an empty kitchen wondering what they are on about.**

"**Safe or unsafe?" Barbie enquires with a hint of worry in her voice.**

"**Unsafe," Piper looks at her scruffy shoes. "But don't worry, they have enough sense not to get caught."**

**Barbie rolls her eyes and murmurs, "Yeah but will they use it?" There is an awkward silence until I cough quietly and say.**

"**Who's 'they'?"**

"**Dracula, Skater and Queeni" there is another long pause before she continues, "Dracula and Skater are the guys, and Queeni the leader of The Pack, she's the oldest."**

"**The Pack?" I ask.**

"**You've not shown her the house?" Piper looks at Barbie quizzically. Barbie shrugs her shoulders. "Okay… this is the House of Wolves and we are The Pack. You see on the skirting-board?" I look carefully at it; there are tiny growling wolves on it that I did not see before. "And upstairs is a room where the walls have been painted with wolves…and outside. The gate has wolves entwined in it. We're The Pack because we live in this house. You get it?"**

**I smile at her, "Yeah, it's clever."**

**It is nearly 6:00 when we hear the front door squeaking open. Footsteps troll inside.**

"**We're home" I hear a husky voice echo around the house. It is a low masculine voice. I melt. Who is this? This person whose voice makes me bubble inside. I glance at Piper who is making a racket trying to open a tin without a tin opener. She puts the tin down and runs out of the room into the main hall. I follow with shaky legs. I am nervous for some reason.**

**When I arrive in the hall a black girl with long purple hair is hanging her coat on a nail, which is sticking out of the wall, a tall ginger guy is smiling at Piper and Barbie is walking over to me. I look at the girl; the voice obviously could not have come from her. I look at the guy, I could never imagine the voice coming out of him, he looks too girly. **

**Barbie introduces me to everyone. "Guys, this is Katie, Katie, this is Queeni (the black girl), Skater (the ginger dude) and Dracula"**

**A tall, broad-shouldered figure emerges from another room. He has long jet-black hair. His eyes are emerald shining stars in the darkness. His skin is pale and smooth. His face is perfect; it is a perfect combination of Gerard Way and Johnny Depp! His smile is tantalising, it sends a shock down my spine. My heart skips a beat and I cannot stop myself from staring.**

"**Hi," There is that voice, the voice suits this body. I literally nearly crumble to the floor but I manage to stabilise myself. However I still cannot take my eyes off him, even when Queeni talks to me.**

"**Hey!" I snap out of my trance. Barbie is clicking her fingers in front of my face and smiling. Queeni has her hands on her hips; she obviously does not like being ignored. Piper is looking at me and then looking at Dracula, then back at me and smirking. Skater is looking at Piper with admiration (there is obviously something going on with them!). And Dracula is gazing at me anxiously.**

"**What? Sorry." I answer.**

"**I said, where did you come from?" She raises her eyebrows at me.**

"**Cheshire" I stutter. I have never stuttered before in my life, why am I doing it now?**

"**Why did you run away?" Everyone is staring at me. I look downwards but do not answer her. I am too ashamed of what happened. I feel like crying. I hang my head low and blink away the tears. "Obviously something bad then, what happened?" Her voice is demanding, I look back up and give her an evil look.**

"**That's enough Queeni!" Barbie hugs me and leads me into the living room. She sits me down and says, "Don't listen to her, she's not usually like this, she's just nosey."**

**The night passes quicker then I expect. It is just as cold and hard as it normally is in doorways but for some reason I sleep better than I usually do. Barbie tells me that we are all going to do some running today. I have to be told what running is because I do not know. **

**We are put in partners and to my delight I am put with Dracula. I wish I knew his real name but no one has told me and I doubt they are going to. Unless he will tell me himself!**

"**A friend told me that the Police are snooping around tonight so everyone has to stay together when sleeping okay?" Queeni announces.**

**I look up at Dracula, "Does that mean we'll be sleeping rough?"**

"**No!" He smiles at me, "Well…technically yeah but I know a place."**

**We start to walk, I follow behind. We go though empty alleyways and smelly dumpsites and dead parks and out to the border of London. A grey shack of a building is where we end up. I am scared. Dracula has obviously done this before. He turns and says, "Wait here and keep out of sight."**

**I stop and watch him walk up to the front door. I am even more frightened now plus I feel alone. A dark man answers the door handing a package to Dracula. Dracula looks at it and says something to the man. The man then shakes his head and looks outside behind Dracula to check no one is watching. I duck behind the bush I am already hiding behind. He hands some money over to Dracula and Dracula nods at him and begins to walk away when the man calls him back. I see him poking and prodding Dracula angrily. Then he stops, looks around again and nods to Dracula before closing the door. Dracula walks up the path and marches over to me. He asks me to hold the package so I do and he places the money in an inside pocket of his torn jacket. After that he takes the package back off me.**

"**Why did you ask me to stay here?" I pose but he ignores me and carries on walking. I ask again and again but he does not answer. I grab his arm. I nearly faint. I can feel his muscles through his jacket but I pull myself together and force myself to say it again more fiercely.**

"**It was for your own protection. He only knows me and Skater, if I had come with someone else he didn't know he would have freaked out and then we wouldn't get the job, therefore not getting the money." He pulls himself away from me and stomps away. I run after him.**

"**Thank you," I say quietly.**

**It is a while before he slows down. We do not use the main streets but stick to the back streets and deserted places. It takes us hours to get to where we are going. Probably because we did it all on foot and we had to go to the opposite side of town. When we get there it is totally different from the other place. A tall white building with a grand hotel door. We enter and are blinded by the bright lights inside. It is dark outside because it took us so long to get here. I am told to wait in the Lobby. I see Dracula walk away.**

**I decide to go to the Toilets and make myself more presentable. I lock the door behind me and brush my hair through with my fingers. It is really greasy but I think it is starting to clean itself. I love the human body. It can do so many fascinating things. I have always been interested in it, ever since I was a little girl. Someone interrupts my thoughts by knocking on the door. I jump and shout "just a minute". I straighten and dust my clothes down. I splash some cold water on to my face. It is extremely refreshing. **

**When I open the door I see Dracula casually leaning against the wall. I smile at him and ask "how did you know I was in here?"**

**He replies, "Women practically spend 24/7 in the bathroom"**

**I hit him jokingly and he nudges me back. We smile at each other and hold each other's gaze for a while. Then he looks at his shoes and says that we should go before it gets really dark. I glance down as well and nod.**

**It takes us about an hour to get to the abandoned railway. When we do, Dracula leads me to a large pipe that is half buried by soil. He crawls inside. I stand there, just looking at it. How random?**

"**Is this it?" I exclaim.**

"**Yep"**

**I wriggle inside. I slide down the pipe expecting to hit the soil at any minute but I don't. I open my eyes. I am falling into a big cave. I grab the rope ladder next to me to stop myself from falling. It wobbles around for a minute or two but soon settles. I gasp at the beautiful cavern. It is gloomy but that adds to the effect. I can hear water trickling down the rocks. I carry on climbing down to the ground. Dracula holds my waist as I jump the last three steps. A wave of pleasure ripples through my body. I love it when we touch. We smile at each other for a moment or two but then he turns around and we loose eye contact. We are still holding hands though. He leads me further down into a small gap that opens up into a bigger cavern. We have to think thin to actually get through the gap but we manage it eventually.**

**I look around. This is the cave where the water goes. A small lake shimmers in the dim light of an oil lantern. There are a couple of white sheets folded in a corner and a box of food. Dracula sits down on a level bit of rock next to the mini lake. He looks at me and says,**

"**Do you like it?"**

"**I love it! It's amazing! How did you find it?"**

"**I don't know, I just kind of stumbled upon it once when I was sleeping rough."**

"**So you've been in the same position as me then?" I ask.**

"**Of course! We all have, except Queeni."**

"**Why not Queeni?"**

"**Well…I don't know! She may have done, but she doesn't tell anyone. I don't actually know anything about her. I don't know why she left, or where she comes from, or even how old she is!" he proclaims. **

**We end up talking about each other's likes and dislikes for ages and ages. I tell him I like My Chemical Romance and he agrees. He says his favourite song is Early Sunsets Over Monroeville, I say mine is Cancer. A lump comes to my throat but I swallow it down. We carry on talking for ages until he suddenly laughs and says,**

"**I don't even know how old you are!"**

"**I'm 14" I answer simply, "You?"**

"**Same," he smiles at me, I smile back, "Why did you leave?" There is a long silence, but then he says, "If I tell you why I left will you tell me why you did?" I pause and then nod.**

"**I was 10 at the time. My life hadn't really been that great from the start. My mum was way too over the top with everything. My dad didn't give a shit about me. I was an only child and I had no friends so I had no one to talk to about my problems. Once when I was late coming home from school one day I walked passed some smokers by accident. I didn't think of it until I got home. My mum rushed into the hall asking me why I was late and then she suddenly stopped and screamed at the top of her lungs, 'is that smoke I can smell, have you been smoking, how dare you bring smoke into my house you dirty little git', she said. She yanked me upstairs to the bathroom and grabbed a scrubber and started to scrub at my skin. She'd be saying things like, 'I don't care if this hurts, you brought smoke into my clean house, and I'm not going to stop until it's all gone'. But it didn't go, it was still in my hair so she cut all my hair off. I was left bald and flaky. I never went anywhere near smoke again… And then once when I was 11 some older kids bullied me because of my hair and they dragged me through the mud. I tried so hard to get it out of my clothes but the stains were there. I couldn't get rid of them. I got home expecting the worst and that's what I got. She smacked me until my cheeks bled and then she burnt the clothes while they were still on me." I gasp, how could his own mother do something like that to him? He was lucky to still be alive! "You can understand why I left, can't you?" I nod, "I was the third person to join The Pack. I'm glad I left. I probably would never have lived past 13 if I had stayed. But the scars soon healed and my hair eventually grew back. On the other hand there are still some wounds that'll never heal." He looks away and gulps; obviously thinking about it is hard for him. I know how he feels, but he managed to tell his story. So I will tell mine.**

**I clear my throat. "I was 8, life was perfect. My mother loved me, my father loved me, mum was expecting. I was so looking forward to having a little sister to play with. But halfway through mum's pregnancy dad was diagnosed with cancer. It had been growing in his Stomach for years and no one had ever noticed it. It was too late to treat. He still had a couple of months to live and say his goodbyes or do all he wanted to do. But he never said any goodbyes; he never did anything he had always wanted to do. Instead he stuck by mum and me and made sure that we would be happy and that we wouldn't break when he died. His cancer got worse and worse and he had to go into hospital. Soon enough mum was in labour and dad wasn't allowed out of bed so he got them to wheel him in to the delivery room and he held her hand from his own bed. He was allowed to hold the baby. The first and the last time he ever would." I have to stop to hold back the tears. Dracula holds my hand and I carry on. "I was allowed to see dad so I went to see him. He was in a right state. All his hair had fallen out and he was really pale and thin. I couldn't bear to see him like that! Then one night he gave me a present, he said listen to track number 8 and never forget him. It was my first ever My Chemical Romance C.D. The song was Cancer." I couldn't stop the tears from streaming down my cheeks, "I promised him I'd never forget him, and he asked me to ask mum to call his new daughter Rosie, after his mother. So we did call her Rosie…He died the following night. Mum never really recovered after that, she still stayed a good mum but she got depressed all the time and I had to look after Rosie. It really affected my grades and my social life but I didn't care about that. All I wanted was for mum to get better. And then last year she met a man. His name was Gary. He was great at the start, he made mum so happy, and he looked after Rosie for us so I managed to get my life back on track even though I was getting bullied. He still didn't come anywhere near as good as my dad though. No one will ever replace him. But when I turned 14 everything changed. He still looked after Rosie and he still made mum happy but he started to flirt with me. He'd give me these looks that suggested that he wasn't happy with mum and he wanted to try out the next level…Me…For a while nothing happened but then one night while mum and Rosie where out he tried it on with me. I hate him. I wish mum had listened to me but she didn't. I had to leave. I had to. I couldn't stay anywhere near him and mum would never let him go. Not after he'd made her feel so good. So I ran…I want my dad back!" I burst into tears again, he hugs me, "I want my mum to believe me, I want to see Rosie again and I want Gary to leave my family alone!" I sob in his arms for a while. He puts his hands on my cheeks and pulls my head up so that he can gaze into my eyes.**

"**I'm glad you ran away. If you didn't…I never would have met you." We embrace in an intense hug. He pulls away and says, "It'll be dawn soon, we have to get some sleep." I am expecting him to say, 'I'll sleep over here and you sleep over there', it would have been a typical boy thing to do but he does not. He stands up and holds his hand out to me. He walks over to a small overhang in the rocks and lays a sheet out for us both. We snuggle down together. I had just let all the emotion I had been holding back for months out and I feel so happy. I feel so comfortable and warm being held so tightly as if he is protecting me. I love it. I love every single bit of it. I gradually stop thinking and fall asleep.**

**I am walking down a deserted road. A cool breeze is blowing the litter my way. One child is stood with a dark shadowy figure. I can tell he is a man. They look at each other. The little girl has light brown curly hair, she must only be 9; she is smiling at the man. He is holding her hand. They start the walk my way. I feel the love that is binding them. They walk right past me. Ignoring me completely. Then they stop. A blinding light brightens in front of them. I turn away to shield my eyes. When I turn back, I see the man gently push the little girl into the light. She evaporates. I am confused. He turns around, so do I. I see a womanly figure. She steps out of the shadows. Her hair is a mixture of blonde and brown and grey at the roots, it is long and curly like the little girls. She has dark circles under her eyes but they disappear when she sees the man. She smiles and walks over to him. The wrinkles on her face cannot be missed. As she gets closer I realise who she is. It is my mum, my mum but an older version of her. And the little girl, the little girl must have been Rosie! The man and my mum hold hands. They are silhouettes in the light. They kiss. Again he gently pushes her into the bright light and she evaporates. He then turns around; I look behind me waiting to see someone but no one is there. I turn back to see another shadowy figure stood next to the first one. The second figure is a man as well, he is holding a knife. He stabs the first man and turns towards me.**

**I wake up screaming and crying. I never knew you could cry in your sleep. I slowly realise where I am and stop screaming. I wipe the tears off my face just as a naked Dracula runs up to me from the mini lake. He is not fully nude but I would have liked it if he was! **_**Stop it! **_**I think to myself.**

"**What's wrong?" he asks concernedly.**

"**Nothing, just a bad dream" I say with my eyes transfixed on his torso. He told me that his mother burnt him yet there are barely any burn marks or scratches on his body. I cannot take my eyes off his chest. I stare longingly while he says something that I am not listening to. He realises I am looking at him and he smirks at me. I snap out of my daydream.**

"**I said, if you want to wash you can come in to the lake with me, it's really cool!" I stare at him, he is asking me to get half naked and go into a freezing block of water with him. Who would ever say no to that!?**

"**Sure!" I exclaim. I pull my clothes off until I am stood in my knickers and bra. Now he is the one that is staring. I have never really felt that good about my body, but him not being able to take his eyes off me, is a good sign! I stroll over to him and say, "Race you!" then I burst in to a sprint. I get to the waters edge and dive in. I am glad there is a big hole here, otherwise I could have landed flat on my face and that would have been a total embarrassment. He jumps in after me and we play in the water for ages, splashing each other and having competitions on how long we can hold our breath underwater. He always wins!**

**Then he grabs my arm and pulls me towards him. He kisses my cheek and I nearly drown because I am not thinking about anything but that kiss. Our first kiss! Not a proper kiss though because it was on the cheek. It still means he has feelings for me though! He has to drag me to land because I am still thinking about that kiss! When I finally come around I look at him and say,**

"**What's your real name?"**

**There is a long pause before he stares into my hazel eyes and says, **

"**Drake, my real name is Drake."**

**Does Anyone Notice? Does Anyone Care?**

**We make our way back to the house. We are late and we know everyone are going to ask questions so we said we would say we got caught up in a protest and lost each other, it took us ages to find each other. Drake said Queeni will probably snoop around to find out if there was a protest or not but we do not care.**

**When we arrive Barbie comes storming in to the hallway demanding for an explanation of why we are late. We look at each other and smirk. We knew this would happen.**

"**Well there was some sort of protest going on and we got caught up in the middle of it and kind of lost each other. It took us ages to find each other. Sorry, you know if we had phones we would of called!" Drake explains. I just nod along in the background.**

"**You know how worried we were! We thought you'd been caught! All sorts of things were going through my mind!"**

"**We said sorry! It's not exactly our fault if we can't contact you!" he exclaims. Barbie rolls her eyes.**

**The day passes and then the week and soon enough a month, then two, then three go by. Life is kind of the same as it use to be, I feel loved and happy and I feel like I belong! I have told Drake about my home and my school, he has shown me some moves to defend myself from Anne, even though I will probably never see her again in my life! Hopefully! Drake and I spend more and more time together but we have still not kissed properly. This is rather disappointing. Barbie told me that she thinks Dracula is a total dream as well and that he will make his move any day soon.**

**I over heard a conversation once between Piper and Drake, he asked her what girls wanted. Piper took a while to answer but when she did she said, "To be rescued! Every girl wants to be rescued by the guy of her dreams". There was another silence while Drake took this in. I held my breath but then they moved on to her and Skater. I stopped listening then. It is good to know that he thinks about me even when we are not together.**

**Piper tells me that she thinks he is sweet and sexy but she does not think it will work, even though I overheard her conversation with him. She only says that because she has never had a real relationship. She says that Skater and her are moving on; she is expecting him to kiss her any day too!**

**I never stop thinking about home. It is so hard to forget. I do not want to forget it but I do not want to think about it either! I want to contact my mum, I want to see Rosie but the thought of Gary still being there literally sickens me.**

**I pull my phone out and I stare at it. It is off. It has remained off for the past 5 months. I want to check for messages, I need to. So I turn it on and wait for it to load. 20 messages, 20!**

"_**Katie, where the hell are you? I'm sorry about last night. Please come home so we can talk. Mum."**_

"_**Katie, school told me you never arrived today. Please tell me where you are. Mum."**_

"_**Where were u 2day K? U missed French, its ur fav. Txt bak. Alice."**_

"_**Katie, I'm scared, please come home. I need you back here with me!"**_

**It carries on like this for another 15 texts. Each getting more desperate then the last. Then when I come to the last text, my heart freezes.**

"_**Katie, don't think you can hide from me. I know where you've gone and I'm coming for you bitch! Sure you can run but you can't hide, not from me and not forever. I'll be seeing you real soon. Gaz."**_

**I feel the sick rise in my throat. I am shaking violently. With an unstable voice I scream out for Barbie. I cannot control what is going on. It is just passing me in one big mess! I throw up just as Barbie enters the room. She runs over to me and asks me if I am all right. I am still shaking and heaving. I stop and shakily hand my mobile to Barbie. She takes a minute or two to read it and then stares up at me. I feel weak and then black and white dots surround my eyes. I faint.**

**I wake up with everyone sat around me. They are talking with concerned looks on their faces.**

"**What should we do?" Barbie says.**

"**There's not really a lot we can do but keep her inside a protect her. Make sure whoever this git is stays away from her," Piper points out.**

"**Yeah but if we keep her at home we'll loose money" Queeni states and Skater agrees.**

"**So you'd rather let Katie die then loose and few pounds. Are you really that self-centred?" Drake angrily requests. There is a long pause.**

"**We can't exactly leave her alone can we? What if he **_**does**_** know she's here? We can't leave her to defend for herself, she'd totally brake!" This by Barbie.**

**Drake declares, "Then I'll stay here with her."**

"**What? Then we'll loose even more money!" Queeni protests.**

"**I have enough money to pay for us both, it doesn't matter!" Drake's voice is quaking a little bit. I open my eyes fully and sit up. "How are you feeling?" I let my eyes clear before answering his question.**

"**Scared." I take a deep breath in. He pulls me close to him and holds me. Everyone is still. I cry silently.**

**For the next week Drake never leaves my side, except from when I am going to the loo. I have to admit though. I like the space. Not to be offensive to him but the same person being right next to you for hours on end, day after day after day can get rather sickening. I like to be alone with my thoughts. It helps me to get over what happened. Nothing can stop the horrible thoughts that go through my mind every night though!**

**I wake up one morning and wait until everyone has gone but him and me. I lie next to him for a while but get bored easily. I have spent the last week stuck in this boring house with nothing to do but think. So I wait until I know he is fully asleep before getting up. I want to get out of the house. I do not want to be stuck inside all day again. Yet I do not want to leave without letting him know where I am going but if I wake him up he will never let me leave. I would have left a note on a piece of paper but I do not have any. So I scratch it into the floorboard next to him with a dirty penknife that I found once. The note says,**

"_**Don't worry about me, I've only gone for a walk, I couldn't stand to stay inside anymore. If you need me I'll be near King's Cross-. Be back soon, bye. XkatieX"**_

**I hop out of the door with a grin on my face. It is so nice to be breathing in clean cool air again. Well…it is as clean as it is ever going to be! I wonder down the street heading for the tube station. I buy a ticket to Kings Cross-. Once on the train I relax and nearly fall asleep. Nobody is looking at me. Nobody really cares. And that is exactly how I like it.**

**I arrive at my station within a couple of minutes. I decide to wonder around and look at the shops. While I am looking around I recognise a doorway that I slept in once. I remember that night, the night I lost my bag to a guy with a knife. I lower my head and walk on at quick pace. I know it is silly but I have the distinct feeling that he is still there. Watching my every move!**

**The day goes quickly. I love being in the middle of London by myself. It is great, so much better then the last time!**

**Nonetheless my fantasy is suddenly ruined.**

**A hand clasps around my mouth. I hear a voice whisper in my ear,**

"**I told you, I'd find you bitch!" I recognise the voice, it is slimy, it is horrible, it is Gary! He drags me backwards in to an alley. I try to scream for help but his hand muffles the sound. I kick out my legs for someone to notice but no one does. I feel so helpless! He turns around and slaps me on my cheek. I stumble to the floor as he lets go off me. I am so scared. I should have never left. He walks up behind me and grabs my hair; he drags me deeper into the alleyway. I scream and scream but does anyone notice? Does anyone care? No. I am alone with a man who is probably going to kill me!**

**He eventually stops dragging me and throws me down in front of him. He spits on me. I recoil in fear. I look up at him, he is smirking at me but all I can see is hatred in his eyes! I know he does not care what happens to me. He leans over me, unzipping his jeans. I struggle from beneath him, trying to break free but he grabs my hands and forces me down. I cry from the pain. He just laughs. I am so scared, so so scared!**

"**Sit still bitch! You're not getting away from me this time!" He yanks my pants and rips them off. I am paralysed. I am so frightened that I literally cannot move. He is raping me. Touching me. Doing things I cannot bare to imagine. Nothing is going through my mind. It is just a blank mess of jumbled up thoughts! He is kissing my neck, moving downwards, biting my chest. This shocks me back in to life and I scream for help. He looks up and shuts me up by sticking his tongue in my mouth. I feel his cold lips against mine. I try to withdraw but there is nowhere to go! I am stuck. He does not let go. The pain is nearly unbearable; I am so close to giving up. I know what comes after this…death.**

**Suddenly he stops and flops down on top of me. Tears are still streaming down my face. I cannot move. My wrists hurt and the weight of him is crushing me. I feel him lift off me. I am petrified. I am expecting the sound of a gunshot or the slice of a knife or the grip of cold hands around my neck but they never come. Instead I feel the warmth of a coat and the arms of someone familiar.**

**I open my eyes. Drake. I stare at him in disbelief. I could have been dead; I could have been face down in the mud and stone cold. Drake has saved me. He pulls me close. I do not take my eyes off him. **_**I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him. **_**My mind keeps on repeating it over and over again. I cannot stop staring at him but then I crack and burst in to tears once more.**

"**I'm so sorry! I'm so so sorry! I'm so stupid! Please forgive me!" I weep.**

"**It's okay!" he soothes, stroking my hair, "it's all over now, he's never going to hurt you again! I'll make sure of it!" Drake helps me up to my feet. **

"**Can I borrow your phone?" he asks. I nod but I do not understand why he wants it. He dials a number.**

"**Yes, hello, can I have the Police please?" he waits, then talks again. "A guy has just raped my friend…we knocked him out but he'll wake up any minute…yes, thank you…the alleyway next to the Piccadilly Hotel…no, we don't want to be found!" With that he snaps my phone shut and says to me, "lets get out of here!"**

**I hold on to him but just before we leave he kicks Gary in the stomach. I cuddle up with him as we walk away, hearing the faint echo of sirens in the distance.**

**What's The Worst Thing I Could Say?**

**So many nights I spend either screaming because I am reliving that day in my dreams or not sleeping because I am too afraid of my dreams! **

**I want my mother, no, I need my mother. I think so much about her. I want to tell her everything. I want to ask her if she will forgive me. I want to go back home, back to my family and back to the way it used to be! But that is in the past and I cannot change the past, no matter how much I want to, I simply cannot.**

**I wake up one night thinking about my mum. **_**Is she still be hoping I'm alive or has she have given up by now? There's only one way to find out! To call her.**_** I consider.**

**I cautiously take my phone out again. I flip it open and find my mother's number. I stop. **_**Do I really want to do this?**_** I shove that thought out of my mind. **_**Of course I want to do this. I've wanted to do it for the past 3 nights! **_**I press dial.**

"**Katie? Oh my god! Katie is that you!? Oh my god! Darling where are you? What's happened? Speak to me!" She carries on blabbering and I cannot stop a tear from sliding down my cheek. I cannot bring myself to say anything. I mean, what's the worst thing I could say? It is just so unbelievable to be hearing her voice again. Her voice brings back so many happy memories but the best ones are just the ones where I can see her clearly.**

**Her hair is short and blondy-brown, natural not high-lighted! It curves around her shoulders perfectly. It glimmers under the moonlight. Her deep brown eyes shine like a million diamonds! They bring out her flawless tanned-skin. She is wearing her favourite dress. It is long and silk and black. Some small black high-heels are on her feet. She is smiling with open arms. I love her and miss her so much!**

"**Katie! Katie, please talk to me!" I can tell by her voice that she is crying. I cannot say anything! The words have caught in my throat! I snap the phone shut and weep in to my hands. Drake wakes up and comes over to me.**

"**I'm sorry." I say sniffing and wiping my eyes.**

"**It's okay, you have a good reason to be upset." He wipes the tears off my cheeks and holds my face gently in his palms. I smile at him. I realise that I am not ready to go back yet! I belong here, where my love is, where the people who care enough to risk their lives for me are! I will stay here; I am not ready to go back, not yet any way.**

**I do not go out! Not after what happened last time. I spend most days talking to Piper about Drake and home. She is a good listener. **

**When I am finished talking about myself, she tells me all about her past. She even willingly tells me her real name, which is Billie. **

**She left Shropshire 2 years ago because she always felt trapped and held down in care. Apparently her parents had died in New York the day the Towers fell. **

**She is very open with it and does not get very upset. She tells me that death is part of life but you have to stay strong and not be afraid of death, it is not your choice how you die. That is for fate to decide. I realise this is how my dad would have put it, exactly like that!**

**During the long period of being stuck in the house, Skater makes a move on Piper. She is happy but she tells us that it was not the most romantic experience of her life.**

"**Last night after tea when I went for a walk he caught up with me and we walked down the road under the stars," she whispers to me and Barbie, "We talked about all sorts and then somehow we kind of came on to the subject of you and Dracula. I told him that I thought it was really sweet the way he saved you and he turned to me and said, 'is that what I have to do?' I was kind of taken back by that, I hadn't expected him to just come out with it. There was a really long pause and the he pushed himself against me and kissed me. I didn't really like the way he was pushing me against a bloody wall but…" me and Barbie roll our eyes, "it was our first kiss. I pushed him away anyway."**

"**But…?" Barbie says it like she is expecting one.**

"**But I couldn't help myself and I kissed him." She looks down.**

"**Hey, don't look so glum, it was your first kiss, that's good!" I exclaim.**

"**Yeah but it wasn't romantic like yours!"**

"**So, it's not always like that! It's just…just the roll of the dice. I mean, when I first met Dracula, it was a total embarrassment!" I cringe remembering it.**

"**Yeah, you can't change the past but you can make the future your own future!" Barbie states. I stare at her. My dad once said that, and I swear to god it was the totally same words and everything! I think through what she is just said. I cannot change the past that is true for sure! I cannot change the fact that Gaz raped me and I cannot change the fact that I left. But I can make a difference. I already have. We put Gaz behind bars…but for how long? He has only been charged but not found guilty! I am beginning to shake and the others notice.**

"**Are you alright?" They ask in unison.**

"**Yeah, I just need glass of water." I say getting up shakily. I calm down and after that the night passes in a haze of people coming in and going out. I do not sleep.**

**It is Saturday. A week since I called mum. Her voice keeps replaying in my mind. I feel like I am going to explode! I cannot stop thinking about home. I feel out of place here, however when I picture myself at home, I can see smiling faces and hugs and kisses. I know I am meant to go home. All the signs are pointing home but something inside me keeps on showing terrible thoughts of hatred in my mother. It is stopping me from making the right decision. I feel so torn!**

**It has been 4 days and I have not slept. I feel drowsy and irritable. I know I am going to snap and have a breakdown at any minute. Yet before that happens I feel my eyes closing. I fall asleep.**

_**I am walking down a deserted road. A cool breeze is blowing the litter my way. One child is stood with a dark shadowy figure. I know who it is, Rosie. They look at each other. Rosie is smiling at the man. He is holding her hand. They start the walk my way. I feel the love that is binding them. They walk right past me. Ignoring me completely. Then they stop. The blinding light brightens in front of them. And once again I turn away to shield my eyes. When I turn back, I see the man gently push Rosie. She evaporates. I still do not understand why. He turns around, so do I. I see my mum. She steps out of the shadows. She has dark circles under her eyes but they disappear when she sees the man. She smiles and walks over to him. The man and my mum hold hands. They are silhouettes in the light. They kiss. Again he gently pushes her into the bright light and she evaporates. He then turns around; I look behind me waiting to see someone but no one is there. I turn back to see another shadowy figure stood next to the first one. The second figure is a man as well, he is holding a knife. He holds the knife way above his head and starts to slice it through the air towards the first man. I scream, I cannot help myself. The second man stops, drops the knife and smiles at me. I can see his face. It is Gary! I scream and run; He runs after me.**_

_**I suddenly see a manly figure on the horizon. I run towards him hoping that he will help me. As I get closer he turns around but I cannot see his face. It is blacked out by shadows. I look around; I have reached the same place I was in before! I suddenly spot something glinting on the ground. The knife! I look behind, Gary is catching up. By the time I get to the knife Gary is right behind me! I bend down, pick the knife up and swiftly twist and stick the knife in to Gary's stomach. He screams out in pain and slumps to the floor. It takes a minute for me to get over what just happened.**_

_**I feel a warm hand on my shoulder and I jump. I stand up and see the other man. I step away; frightened it will be another evil person who is out to get me. He steps out of the shadows. I recognise his face. Those green eyes. I know this man! With his floppy brown hair. He gazes at me with a loving expression on his face. He smiles at me.**_

"_**Dad?" I ask, unwilling to admit it. "But you're…you're…dead!"**_

"_**Katie? …Thank you." We stare at each other. Then I remember him pushing mum and Rosie in to the white light.**_

"_**Why did you make mum and Rosie evaporate?"**_

"_**They die." I gasp quietly.**_

"_**Why?" I ask simply.**_

"_**When you left, your mother tried so hard to find you. She never stopped looking. Rosie kept your promise, but that is a bad thing. I know you feel safe now that you think Gary is behind bars but it's not safe. He's still out there." I gasp more obviously this time. How, how can he still be out there!? "Soon he'll find you, and when he does, I can't bear to think what he'll do to you! Once our family finds out what happens to you. Things will go so wrong. Rosie will commit suicide and your mother will too. Do you really want to be the reason for their deaths!?"**_

_**I begin to cry, "What should I do?"**_

"_**Go home, Katie. I know it, even you know it." He strokes my cheek. I cry and we hug.**_

" _**I love you!"**_

"_**I love you too!" He burbles.**_

"_**Why did you have to leave?" I protest.**_

"_**I fought Katie!" he pulls away from me, I instantly regret saying it, "I fought for years, I faced my fear, I tried. But in the end, it wasn't enough. However that's not always the case. You have to carry on!"**_

"_**I'm sorry!" we hug again. I feel wanted and loved again. I feel like I am full once more.**_

"_**The world, will never take my heart."**_

"_**The Black Parade." I say. He nods, he tells me to remember that. "I will, I promise I will."**_

**I wake up. I sit up quickly. I race around the house until I come across Drake. He looks up and smiles.**

"**I saw that you were asleep. I thought it best not to disturb you."**

"**I'm going home" There is a long silence. He stands up and I shift my feet around. We stare at each other.**

"**Wh-w-why?" he stutters.**

"**I have to, don't ask me why, I just have to. It's the right thing to do." There is another silence. Neither of us breaks it this time. We just stare at each other for an eternity.**

**This Is The Best Day Ever!**

**It is Sunday Morning. I am stood at the door with a pocketful of cash, some small packets of food and tears in my eyes. I am leaving. I am leaving the House of Wolves; I am leaving The Pack, the people I have grown so fond of in the past 4 months. 4 months, no, 6 months including the time that I was on the streets, it had passed so quickly, I never realised how long it had been!**

**Queeni steps forward, "I never really got to know you much but it still feels like I'm losing a sister." We smile at each other and then she moves away to revile Skater.**

"**See you." I smile and we shake hands.**

"**I hope you get there safely and I hope your life is great!" Piper starts to cry, we hug, "I'll miss you."**

"**We!" exclaims Barbie, "We'll miss you… you're the best friend I've ever had! You helped me, changed me for the better. We'll all miss you." We hug and cry. I did not think it was going to be this hard. **_**I think this is hard! Drake's next!**_

**He doesn't say anything. I hate this, I thought he would hold me and tell me that he'd never let me go and then we would kiss. It would be a soft gentle kiss of true love and tenderness. But no…no, he just stands there shuffling his feet and murmuring a lifeless, loveless goodbye. I stare at my feet in disappointment. I say goodbye for the last time and paint a mental picture of them all in my head.**

**I start walking down the path. Tears falling down my cheeks. I am sad but also happy. I am sad that I am leaving a world behind but I am walking into a new world. A bright world. A world full of love a promise. I am going home.**

**The train is 10 minutes late. It is killing me; random screenplays of what is going to happen keep running through my head. She could open the door and scream at me, slapping my face and hitting me, or she could open the door and just stare at me, or she could open the door and hug me or she may not even be in!**

**I hear a distant rumble. The train slows down and opens its doors. I am the first one in. I cannot wait any longer; I may explode if I have to wait. I want to see her. I want to see the look on her face when I am stood on her doorstep. I want to know if she will be happy or angry or amazed. I do not want to wait. I do not want to think. I just want to be there and see my mother again for the first time in 6 months!**

**It feels like a lifetime before the doors finally close. Then the train sets of at a snails pace! I bounce up and down in my seat all the way there! I cannot stop myself. An old lady keeps glancing at me and smiling. I cannot stop myself from shuffling away. She notices and looks away in a hurt manner.**

**It is nearly mid-day when I arrive in my station. I step out on to the platform and breathe in deeply. I feel like dancing! I feel like singing. I feel like shouting Hallelujah but I manage to control myself! I smile to myself and make my way to ground level. When I step out on to the Cheshire ground. I take another deep breath in. I forgot how much I love this town. I recognise the church as I pass it. I recognise the supermarket. I recognise the park and some of the children on it. They look up as I pass and point saying 'hey! That's that Katie girl off the news!'. I smile and wave. Their mouths drop and I run.**

**I run all the way to my street. I see the street name on the side of the road and slow down. I stop at the end of the road to catch my breath. I am home; I am back where I belong. I start to walk up my road. Mr Peters is on his front lawn mowing his grass but I manage to slip passed him unseen.**

**There it is. I remember it so well now. My house with its white-picket fence and the 6 rose shrubs beside the path leading to the front door. I stop and look at the house for a couple of minutes. I see my window; I can see the little ornaments sat on the windowsill. Perfectly preserved, the same as I left them. The curtains are not drawn. I stare at it for a while remembering the many memories I have before pulling myself together and walking through the neat garden and up to the front door.**

**I knock. A long pause. I hear the door rattle as it is opened. And there, framed by the gleaming white doorway is my mum, my angel!**

"**Oh my god!" she screams running to me and hugging me. This is the best day ever! To see my mum stood here with me after so long! I feel the warmth of her, I see the glow coming from her, all I can hear is her screaming, "oh my god!" I am so happy; I cannot explain this feeling, this overwhelming sense of love that is tying us. Our hearts as one, our minds as one, our love… united.**

**We spend most of the night drinking hot coffee in the lounge and talking and hugging and mum saying sorry and me saying it was my fault. I explain everything, why I left, what he did to me and the other thing. I cry. However I do not cry because I am sad it happened. I cry because I am so ecstatic to be home, safe…forever!**

"**Oh my god! I can't believe he did that to you! That bastard… I'm so sorry Katie. I can't believe I didn't believe you! I was just so confused, you came out of the darkness screaming, I couldn't understand what you were saying and Rosie was screaming and then you kicked him" I have to smile when she says this, "I was so confused, it all happened so quickly, if I'd only known, Katie! I would have murdered him there and then!"**

"**Mum!"**

"**He doesn't deserve to live! Why waste a precious life on that git? I hate him! I can't believe what he did to you! It's not right…and I'm a terrible mother for not believing my own daughter!" She starts to cry and I run over to her. I hug her and tell her over and over again it was not her fault. Eventually she stops and asks, "Not that I'm not glad because I'm so happy but…what made you come home?"**

**I pause,"…dad. He came to me in my dreams, and he told me to go home so I did." I smile at her and she looks up at the roof and mutters thank you, then we hug again.**

"**Umm, mum. Where's Rosie?" I enquire looking around.**

"**She's at a party, oh we should call and bring her home. She'll be so happy that you're home!"**

"**No, it'll be more of a surprise if I'm here when she gets home."**

**So we wait, and wait, and wait until 4:00pm arrives and we hear a car rumbling outside. We both leap out of our seat immediately and run into the hall. Mum tells me to wait in the lounge so I do. I hear the door open and my little sister toddle in. She starts talking manically about the party. Mum shushes her and says,**

"**Rosie, I got a surprise for you" I smirk to myself.**

"**Ooh! Is it a Pony? Is it a big cake? It's fairy, isn't it?" I laugh to myself, I missed her so much. I see her in the doorway, and she is so different! Her hair is so long! I swear to god she has grown! Her eyes are still twinkling stars of innocence though. She stares at me for a long time and for a dreadful minute I think she does not want me here but then she bursts into life and runs to me screaming my name. I kiss her and she beams up at me. I feel the same binding love as before. She cries, I cry, mum cries and we all embrace.**

**I spend the next few days being hugged by relatives and being asked what happened to me. I tend not to answer and they get the idea.**

**Then one night, just before I go to bed I pluck up the courage to ask where Gary is. Mum looks at me with concern and tells me to sit down. I sit next to her and she holds my hand. I start to worry.**

"**It was about a month ago, I needed to go out for milk and I didn't want to have to disturb Rosie, she was playing in her room and she seemed really into it so I asked **_**him **_**to watch her while I popped out. I wasn't certain to leave her with him since what happened to you but he had already said yes so I left but then I realised I'd come out without my purse so I turned around and headed back home. When I got in I could hear Rosie crying upstairs so I went to check it out. And…"She sniffs "there he was, on top of Rosie, he was molesting her, the same as he had with you! I couldn't believe it! I ran over to him and punched him, he stumbled off Rosie and she hugged me. I ran straight downstairs and called the police. But he came after us; I was so scared. He yelled at me and hit me but I didn't care, my only concern was Rosie. Eventually we heard the Police in the background and he ran. When they arrived, I told them everything but he was gone and they said they'd find him but obviously they never did! I'm so sorry!"**

"**Mum! It's not your fault, you've got no reason to be sorry!" I declare. Then something clicks in my head. **_**That's why he came after me! **_**I think. **_**If I hadn't have said anything to mum, mum would never have doubted him and they'd probably still be living in his fake world of happy families! He blamed me, he blamed me and he wanted to get back at me! So that's why he came looking for me and…**_** I cannot bear to remember that night; it aches too much. I look at mum.**

"**Thank you for telling me. I'm sorry that Rosie had to get hurt before you found out for yourself. I love you! Good night." With that I stand up and solemnly walk out of the room. Now I know why, I can finally put it behind me…forever!**

**Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge**

**It has been a week and I am back at school. I cannot believe I am seeing the people I forgot and I am meeting new people that never would have talked to me in the past. Lynn Johnston for instance. She used to ignore me every time I talked to her yet now she will not leave me alone. I have found myself being the new Miss Popular, an idol some might say. Some year 7 kids actually came up to me and asked for my autograph! Can you believe it? I am actually giving out autographs! It is fun while it lasts but soon enough it will wear off.**

**I am right, it does wear off. Soon enough I am back to the usual routine. Lessons and break and another lesson and lunch and then more lessons! Boring boring boring! Same old ins and outs. Steel-grey skies, cold blustery winds, and droning teachers. I thought coming back to school would bring some thrill into my life. Something "new" and "exciting" but no, it is the same old stuff. No new and exciting just algebra and Shakespeare. I find myself often staring out of the window daydreaming. Most of the time about Drake.**

**Drake and his bold expression, his smooth skin and his long dark hair, his emerald eyes gleaming into mine. I am never going to forget his face,**

"**Never" I whisper. The teacher looks up at me and the whole class turns to look at me, some are staring at me confused, others are smirking.**

"**So you don't think that x over y plus 75 is 100?" We are in maths, and there is a deadly silence.**

"**Um…no?" I say puzzled.**

"**Well done, it doesn't make 100." He turns away from me and says to Alice "What does it make Alice?" she answers correctly, then the rest of the class "oh"s and "ah"s. That was a lucky escape! I turn away and stare out the window again remembering Drake and The Pack, making sure I do not say anything out loud this time.**

**I am remembering the time that Drake and I sat in the cave and talked all night. It would have been perfect if we could see the stars. It would have been even more romantic. I remember him telling me why he left; he had gained my trust so that I would tell him my story! He had been so caring, so sweet about it. I realise now just how much I miss him! I feel the sting of tears in my eyes and snap back into reality. I try to blink the tears away before someone notices but I am to0 late.**

"**What's wrong with your eyes, bonehead?" the guy sat next to me asks. **_**Bonehead? Since when did people start calling me that?**_** I think. **

"**Can you stake my heart?" I ask. I am trying to freak him out to get him to go away and it works.**

"**What?" I repeat myself and he shuffles in his seat before saying, "Um…I'm gonna sit over there!" He moves over to another guy and says something to him, they both turn around to look at me and I smile and wave. I am laughing in my head. I do not know why I did it. It just kind of came out! But it did get rid of him.**

**I carry on thinking about Drake and the others until I see the rest of the class pack up and leave. I get up too and pack my stuff away. Alice walks over to me and links arms with me. I smile friendly at her and she smiles back. I am glad to be home but I miss the others so much!**

"**Lucky escape" she smirks at me.**

**I look at her and say, "I don't know what you're on about." Smiling to myself when I say it. She shakes her hand and laughs. We walk out of the Maths Block and down the steps towards Science still laughing. However the laughs are cut short. There in front of us stands the fat lump of Anne. I cannot stop myself from rolling my eyes. So long ago! I had always been afraid of her, she and her mates had always been frightening to me yet now, now it was different. She is no longer a threat to me! I have experienced so much worse.**

**She sees me roll my eyes and pushes Alice away. A stampede of students' rolls over to us like a wave upon the ocean; clogging the playground! Most of them are fighting each other to see what is happening. I start to turn around to walk away when "Em" and "JJ" move in front on me, blocking my exit. I turn back around at Anne. **

"**Running already? We haven't even gotten started." She mocks me.**

**I smile at her and answer, "Then go on…start!" I hear gasps from the crowd.**

**She is taken aback by this and stares at me for a while before saying, "Did you really think you could escape from me by running away?"**

**I cannot stop myself from laughing, "Oh my god! Are you really that self-centred? You think I ran away because of you!" I laugh again and I can see the anger building up in her eyes. Usually I would have been scared but I am not. I have grown up, I have found my inner-strength and I am using it!**

"**I am not self-centred!" she screams.**

"**Seems like it to me!" I answer back, now I am the one who is mocking her! I hear more gasps and someone saying 'she's asking for it'. Then I see the click of the eyes. Anne's eyes. I remember what Drake once told me about fighting. When you are against a bully, there is a moment when their eyes flame with anger but then they blink and their eyebrows twitch and it is called the "click". They change their position and you know they are going to hit you. He told me that if she raises her arm to slap me. I raise my arm as well and quickly I grab her hand to twist it. If she punches me I duck and kick her legs. I hate violence but if this stops me from being bullied then I will gladly do it.**

**I watch her raise her hand, it is as if everything is in slow motion, the children surrounding us are all screaming 'fight!' I can see Alice with her worried look, then I notice Anne, she is going to…punch! Everything snaps back into normal timing as I duck away from her flailing arm. She has a surprised look on her face; she obviously had not expected me to duck! I swiftly stick my leg out hooking her left leg with my foot then I yank it hardly pulling her down. She screams. She falls. She is on the ground along with me. I shake my head to regain my steadiness but in this time Anne has grown angrier and angrier. She lunges at me tugging my hair and slapping my face. I feel just the same as I used to now. Scared and lonely but then I feel hands grab my arms. JJ and Em? Ready to hold me up so that Anne can kick me in my stomach? No! Alice and some other people; helping me up and taking me away from her just as the teachers arrive. Everyone else is holding Anne and her cronies away. I feel a cut on my head, it is pretty bad. The teachers are yelling at everyone. Everyone scatters. Leaving me, Alice, Anne, Emily and Joyce.**

**We are all sent to the head after to tell him what happened. I explain my side of the story, then Alice, then Joyce, then Emily and finally Anne. When we are all finished the head teacher comes out and he says that he is very disappointed with all of us. Of course since Emily, Joyce and Anne's stories were all different, he has too side with Alice and me. We always knew he liked us more! He says that that still does not give us the excuse to carry on with this disgraceful behaviour. Alice and I are allowed to go while he keeps them three in his office to talk to them. We gladly scurry out of the room, soon to be followed by murderous growls of disgust, which echo down the corridor.**

**Soon afterwards it is after school and me, Alice and Frankie are all sat on the monkey bars like we used to do. Alice is explaining every single little detail to Frankie about what happened. Frankie looks amazed.**

"**Oh my god! Where the hell did you learn how to do that?" Frankie exclaims.**

"**Ummmm…there was this guy that I met when I was on the streets. He taught me loads of stuff" I have to stop, thinking about Drake and The Pack is too hard! I feel like I am about to cry but luckily the other two are too caught up in the moment to notice. I feel free. I know that after what happened today Anne and her acquaintances will never touch me again. They now know that I am not a weakling that will back into corners and I am not a punch bag that they can take all their anger out on anymore. I am a strong human being who will fight back whenever I need to and that I am stronger than Anne. Now there is a phrase I never thought I would say! I am stronger then Anne! Frankie who is prodding my arm suddenly brings me back to reality.**

"**Hey, I was just thinking, you beat Anne, you're better then them! THREE CHEERS FOR SWEET REVENGE!" She shouts gleefully, "HIPHIP!"**

"**HURRAY"**

"**HIPHIP"**

"**HURRAY"**

"**HIPHIP"**

"**HURRAY!" We chorus.**

**Romance**

**I hear the phone ring so I pick it up. It is Rosie; she is calling to ask if I want to go shopping with her. I cannot believe how quickly she has grown up. She is 14 now, I am 22. She is now into all that make-up and nails stuff. You know, a real girly girl! She has a boyfriend called Jim. I find that rather amusing and whenever we go on one of our random shopping trips, I always taunt her by singing "Rosie and Jim, Rosie and Jim, bobbing along on the old rag doll!" She always hits me afterwards but it has now become some kind of…tradition! I then ask her how it is going with him. She usually answers with great! Then she tells me how his band is doing, then how his family are doing, then how her friends are doing, and then how mum and David are doing. Mum found a new boyfriend when I was 18; they got married when I was 20. I was their bridesmaid along with Rosie. It was one of the best days of my life. The beautiful gown she was wearing, the gorgeous dresses she picked out for us, the make-up, the hair, the nails. It was a Rosie type of day for sure!**

**I am still talking to her on the phone when I hear the boiling vegetables bubbling and frothing over the side of the pan. I run into the kitchen and turn the heat down. Rosie can hear me swearing to myself and laughs while asking if I am okay!**

"**Does it sound like I'm okay?" I snap back at her, she takes it personally so I have to apologise and say, "I'm sorry but I'm really busy at the moment, can I give you a call back later when I've got more time?" She agrees and hangs up. I put the phone down on the sofa and turn to go back into the kitchen just as the doorbell rings. I roll my eyes. Why does everything always happen at the same time? First the phone, now the door!**

**I quickly turn the corner towards the door. I slide the hatch unlocking the door and open it. I cannot believe it. My mouth drops so far down that a bird could fly in and make a nest in my wide yak. I remember these people. I know these people. I love these people. I see their faces, smiling at me, their eyes gazing into mine probably searching for some sort of life, because I am so gob-smacked I have stopped breathing! There stands my old friends, The Pack. Queeni, Barbie, Skater, Piper and finally my love. My heart skips a couple of beats when our eyes lock. Drake! My hunny, my one and only, my saviour!**

"**It's us!" Barbie exclaims**

"**OH MY GOD!" I scream, I cannot control myself. I suddenly burst into life, screaming and jumping up and down. I hug everyone, except Drake, he seems to hold his self back. I am disappointed, I have got to admit. I want him to show a little more enthusiasm even if it is just a slight adjustment. I take a good look at everyone. They have all changed so much yet you can still notice certain features in their faces that are recognisable.**

**Barbie still has her long blonde hair, exactly like her old hair but longer and neater. She has highlighted the roots to a light brown. It suits her. Her eyes are still blue, obviously, but she is no longer smaller then I, but has grown to be the same size. Her eyes are sparkling with excitement. She is wearing a short green summer dress with a long dark green coat. She looks very sophisticated. She is smiling at me. I smile back.**

**Piper has darkened her hair since I last saw her. Plus her green streaks have gone. The colour of her hair matches her dazzling, chocolate brown eyes. She has her hair pinned up in a neat bun with a few strays falling to one side. She is wearing a plain black top with some basic jeans. And you will never guess what! Those scruffy pink and white trainers! I cannot believe they still fit her! I laugh, she hugs me.**

**Queeni has short black plaits, she must have cut it because it is shorter then the last time I saw it, I swear it is! It is just black now. It has no purple in it any longer. Her face is the same old stubbornness. She is wearing a kind of suit. A tight knee-length skirt with black tights and a white blouse and a black shoulder-padded jacket. If you had told me years ago that she would look like this, I never would have believed you! But here she is, stood right in front of me. I smile at her, she smiles back.**

**I turn to see Skater, holding hands with Piper. I smile, she laughs, and he winks. Skater has the same old ginger hair but it is short instead of wild and bushy. Too bee honest, he looks much cuter now that his hair has been tamed! To my amazement, I notice that he has a stubbly beard growing. He is wearing black trousers and a grey hoodie with Blink182 on it. His hood is down so that I can see his face. I say hi and he waves.**

**Then it's Drake. His eyes glow when we look at each other. Those dreamy emerald diamonds that shine like bright stars. I gaze at him, he gazes back. His hair is glossy and silky, luxurious. A bit of his hair covers one of his eyes, like an Emo fringe. His skin is smooth and untouched. I remember the story of his mother, how can he not have any permanent marks? I do not care though. I am just happy he is here and that he is alive. Thank you Lord for bringing us together! I look up at the sky and murmur my thank you. When I open my eyes I see Drake smiling at me. He moves forward and places one hand on my hip and the other on my cheek. I feel myself blushing. We smile at each other. Forgetting everyone that is around us, the whole world in fact! He closes his eyes and moves towards me, while his other hand moves to my hair. I lean in as well.**

**I feel his breath, warm and tender. Our lips meet. We kiss.**

**My heart rate increases. The energy inside of me is overwhelming, the adrenaline pumping around my body. The feeling of us being together. So close after so long. I love it; I love the warm touch of his lips moving with mine. I love the way his hands are running up and down my back and through my hair. I love the fact that we are here, after years have past, we are here, together, forever. Not even death can tear true love apart. And this, this is true love.**

**I love him.**


End file.
